Reply to Dad told us tween was rude and doesn't want anymore visits- how to handle?

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m sure it wasn’t intentional and your dad’s reaction may be a bit out of line (hard to say without witnessing their interactions) but I agree that it’s rude to not thank your hosts. And this is his family so I would expect him to show some extra warmth towards them. I’ve taught my 10 year old to always say thank you. We started this with play dates and parties in preschool. When he was young I would prompt him but by early ES he remembered. We later extended this to his coaches. That was intimidating at first but it’s a habit now. He knows that he isn’t to leave the field without making eye contact and saying “Thank you, Coach”. He frequently spends time with his grandpa or aunt and uncle and knows to say thank you and he often chooses to give a big hug. I would be fine without the hug but he has chosen to add it and it communicates heartfelt appreciation.

Obviously there are kids who would find this difficult for various reasons. I have one of those too! She struggled to make conversation or even greet or say goodbye to adults when she was in ES. She even struggled with peers. I sensed this was due to anxiety and took her for therapy. It took a lot of hard work and reinforcement but she is now comfortable doing this as a teen. Sadly, I think there were many adults who didn’t understand the challenge and probably thought she was rude. [/quote]

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