Reply to My son brought a friend on vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you're being way too nice. [b]If I noticed him eating all the snacks, I'd remind him that they are for everyone and that he needs to slow down or replace them. If we went out to eat, I'd expect him to pay for his meal at 19.[/b] And if he showed himself to be reasonable, I'd probably offer to pay at the end of the meal once or twice. Once I was in college, I paid for my meals out even if I was home with my family, unless my dad offered.

I wouldn't hold it against him. Some people received no home training, and at 19 he's learning. But I would definitely let him know what is unacceptable around me. [/quote]

Yeah, he is ruining your vacation, why not try to ruin his!  :roll:

Good Lord people... OP allowed her son to invite him. Don't be so petty.[/quote]

How does asking him to be respectful of others and share the food that is available "ruin" his vacation? It doesn't have to be a lecture. "Hey Larlo, you really liked those cookies! Why don't you go pick up another box so the rest of us can have some (jokingly)"

I seriously don't understand how so many of y'all walk through life unable to open your mouths and talk, and at the same time take everything anyone says to the absolute extreme. 19 year olds don't pick up on subtlety or nuance. If something he is doing is upsetting you, you're going to have to tell him. And that's better than stewing, calling him a glutton, and eventually hating him.[/quote]

It's not OP's job to educate him or teach him good manners. OP's son invited him. OP let him. Now she is calling a glutton. I just don't think that's very nice. It's OP who made the mistake of letting this happen. She needs to own it rather than calling names. [/quote]

It's not about educating him necessarily, though at 19 he's still learning, but about OP drawing her own boundaries. You're right she's letting all of it happen, and calling a kid a glutton is messed up. But inviting him on the trip wasnt the mistake. It was kind. Now all she needs to do is set boundaries. "Everyone's budget tonight is $20" "Everyone grab something to carry" "Boys, you all are on cleanup duty tonight" It's not hard, and OP can easily enjoy her vacation if she just speaks up. [/quote]

This.  So much better to teach them at 19 than it is at 29![/quote]

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