Reply to His family likes me more than he does

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like he's gay.  [/quote] What? Why do you think that??[/quote]

Because he turns you down for sex. [/quote]When someone turns down sex that makes them gay? Here we go classic DCUM[/quote]

No, but a guy in his 30’s saying he’s not in the mood 50% of the time is a redflag. Either he’s gay ir he’s not into you. This sounds like duty sex.[/quote]

DCUM-think can never get beyond "he's gay or not into you" as the sole possible reasons a man would turn down/not initiate sex. Of course those are on the list, but sex drive can also be affected by depression; other mental health issues; medications (of many kinds); illegal drug use or misuse of prescription drugs; issues in upbringing or religion that make the man feel guilty about wanting sex; and (though most PPs won't believe this exists) low libido/low T problems....But here on these threads, the usual lack of subtlety always wins: Gay or not into you.

In OP's case, I have no idea what's up with her boyfriend, but OP--you need to tell him exactly what you said here. Have you sat down and told him frankly that you see he seems uninterested in sex and is distant? Have you addressed the idea that he may be with you because you satisfy his family? And is keeping them off his case his priority? Yes, your sexual incompatibility is a serious problem, but the idea of marrying a guy who wants you because at last he's found someone his family approves of--that's a setup for even worse problems than a lack of sex. Sex you can work on together IF you're both willing to try and maybe get sex therapy. (Is he?) But if his family would be all over your marriage, even if they adore you -- that's harder, because changing that dynamic means changing behaviors in several other people who aren't inside your relationship. That doesn't work, period, unless maybe you and he move far away from his family geographically.

Have a very frank talk. If you feel you can't talk to him about what you wrote here, you and he are not communicating like a couple should. If you fear upsetting him or fear losing him if you're honest with him--you and he aren't going to last, unless maybe you both commit fully to couples therapy.

Do not marry him until the issues you posted about are dealt with. Or else you'll end up married to his family, never truly married to him.[/quote]

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