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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is what my parents do - say they are dying to go on a family vacation and then pick something that interests them and is often inconvenient for others, then expect us to pay (although they certainly have the money to treat us all).

In your situation, I told my parents we would love to join but are already planning a trip to London to visit friends (which was true) so unfortunately it’s not in our budget for next year. That gave them a clear opportunity to offer to pay, but they didn’t so we didn’t go.

You should try the same. Just tell them you’ve already planned/committed to something else and give them the hint.[/quote]

Are you not embarassed to accept money from your parents or inlaws now that you are an adult? I would be. In my culture we pay for our parents and inlaws once they get older, even if we are not as wealthy as them. Just a sign of respect for our parents they have done for us.
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I'm with you on this one. At some point you have to grow up, pay your own way and have some dignity. I'm about as American as it gets.[/quote]

Eh, I don't think it's as black and white as this.  For me it depends a bit on the circumstances. My parents don't have a lot of money and we would never dream of expecting them to pay for a trip- when we do travel as a family (which isn't very often), everyone pays their own way.  Thus far it has been somewhere everyone can agree on, I have no interest in a cruise myself but thankfully my parents don't care for them either.

My ILs, OTOH, are fairly well off and are very generous.  They previously had a beach time share and sold it a few years ago and wanted to use the money from the sale to treat the family to occasional vacations.  They usually pick the destination but do solicit some input.  Honestly they'd have been insulted if we had insisted on paying for "our share" of the beach house they rented last summer.  But we at least try to pay for dinner one night or get them something as a thank you.

I do think my SIL takes advantage of their generosity sometimes however.  A few years ago, DH and I travelled to Italy and ILs decided to join for part of the trip.  They (very generously) paid for SIL/BIL to fly over as well and paid for the apartment we rented in Rome.  One night when it was just DH, SIL, BIL and I out for dinner, she revealed that she and BIL had brought NO cash or credit card on the trip- she had automatically assumed her parents would pay for absolutely everything!  She also was pushing for years for a family vacation (paid by her parents) to Colorado to ski in the winter, even though my ILs are well beyond their skiing years and really had no interest.  It was so weird to me.  She hasn't brought it up in a while so maybe she finally got the hint that it wasn't going to happen (on their dime anyway).[/quote]

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