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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One sister, 17 months apart. Not close at all. We were way too different growing up and seriously battled jealousy/resentment. As adults, we both moved out of state to opposite sides of the country. We see each other once every couple years at my parents' for Christmas, and text about specific things 2-3 times a year. We have absolutely nothing in common (except, ironically, the exact same profession). I wonder what will happen when my parents pass--that's really the only thing uniting us.[/quote]

I am the oldest of three sisters: one is 14 months apart, another 4 years apart.  Sadly, I am not close to either one.  And, there is a reason.  I was a source of the bullying in the family, constantly creating a rift among the family members, made the sisters life so miserable growing up that the middle sister, particularly, resent me for it big time even now (we are both in 40s) and I cannot disagree her to a certain degree.  So, I try my best to distance myself from them, moved international distance away from my home.  Two sisters themselves are really close.  In fact, the youngest claims she was raised by the middle sis, not the mom.  In my case, two of the younger sisters are close, I am not close to either, I am also not that close to mom (she was like a tiger mom growing up and I hated that so much, but mom was never tiger to my sisters), and I am close to dad.

All of us have kids in a similar age group, but because of my past deed, middle sister already warned(?) about me to the nieces/nephews.  The nieces/nephews openly told me "So, aunt XX, you were bullying aunt YY, right? cuz aunt YY already told us".  I was not there when she spoke about me and even if I were there, most of the things my sis had told the nieces/nephews were probably true cuz I was the bullying sister (this was just last year).  Therefore, I have to wonder if I should limit my child from spending time with the cousins because of my past history with the mothers of my nieces/nephews, or I wonder if my sisters would want my child not spend time with their kids.  So, the impact made during the childhood might potentially extend beyond adulthood and "maybe" compromise you/your child relationship with nieces/nephews/cousins.

I have no resentment toward my sisters not wanting spend time with "me" because I know how bad a sister I was.  Unfortunate fact is that my child loves to spend time with the cousins, but in time, my child will be told from the cousins that mom was really terrible sister toward the cousins' moms.  I wish for a healthy relationship among the cousins, but if my relationship with the sisters will influence them in a negative way, I wonder what is the best way to manage such situation.  
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