Reply to DCUM- you're my only hope. Well...no but here I am anyway.

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Reply to "DCUM- you're my only hope. Well...no but here I am anyway."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are a married couple, not single, with one person working an afternoon/evening shift. If you wanted a 9-5 guy, with the potential for earning a high income, then you should have married one. Since that ship has sailed, and you chose to have kids with this guy, you have to make a decision.

I can see asking him to cut back his hours but essentially asking him to change what he does is TOO much. You do not marry someone, have kids by them, and then decide that you want a new model because this one isn't fitting into your fairy tale dream. Accept him as he is, make slight adjustments, and then go from there. There are plenty of couples that make marriage work where one person works an alternative shift. Seek advice from them.

You cannot marry someone and them ask them to dramatically change. [/quote]

My thoughts as I was reading this. I dated a guy like this. I eventually broke up with him because I couldn’t see anyway to have and raise kids with him. But give OP a break. She seems to recognize that and this seems to be leaning toward divorce. That seems crazy unless you give him options first. [b]Doesn’t the guy want to spend more time with his family?[/b][/quote]

GREAT QUESTION

What did he say about the ramifications when he UNILATERALLY decided to take this job 12 months ago (post marriage, post-having kids)?[/quote]

OP here:

He told me that it would be better. That he would be home more often, get to see the kids more often, etc...

But: he's really just home when the kids are in school. And then he bugs me about sex while I'm trying to work so I can take care of the kids later. And then he tells me that he doesn't want to bother me while I work.

But when he took the job, he truly believed it would be better for us. Or at least presented it that way.[/quote]

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