Reply to Is this a normal personality trait, and/or should I do something about this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You should give a better example than that. A coach got fired for anger management issues and you want to protect the coach, and you got mad at your daughter for not protecting a grown man whose behavior toward children was so bad he lost his job for it. I took what she did as warning her friend to watch out for a problematic, possibly abusive (verbally, emotionally) coach. I’ve seen some of the stuff coaches get away with so for someone to be fired for anger management issues sounds pretty bad.

I call what your dd did: looking out for a friend and warning  her about a possible problem.

I call what you did: worrying about what other people think about you rather than caring about your dd and her friend. 
[/quote]

OP here.  I understand what you are saying, PP, and that makes me want to clarify/add information.

First, if she had done it to warn her friend, that would make sense.  But it was to gossip/tell funny stories.

Second, nobody is in danger here, and the coach IS a yeller but it's arguable if he is too much of a yeller.  For instance if he were coaching on a boys' team, I don't think there would be an issue.  I think the owners wanted a different style, a more positive approach.  Some parents/kids were relieved he was gone; some parents/kids went with him.

Second, it's not about me; I don't get how you got there, PP.  I'm worried about my DDs seemingly lack of ability to think three steps ahead in a social situation.  She could have told her friend in a more serious manner, in concern about her, and I would have had no problem with this.   But she was just shooting her mouth off, unaware of the ramifications to the coach's reputation and also to HER future working with the school coach.  The circle is small enough that one has to have a little tact.

And I brought it up here only because my older DC said I need to question my own assumptions about if this is normal behavior, because DD is 13, not 7, and should know better by now, and it's not just a one-off "whoops" but a blind spot.  If, as another PP said, cut her slack because she's 13 and it's normal, then fine.  [b]Maybe my DC is advanced on this issue, so to her, my DD looks to be lagging...I'm just not sure which way to look at it.  My DC is very astute so I'm trying to look at it in a different way and that's why I'm asking[/b].[/quote]

I come back to--your DC thinks that her sister might have autism for doing a thing that pretty much everyone agrees is at worst totally normal and at best totally appropriate.  I don't think she's as "astute" as you think, and she's certainly judgmental as hell.  [/quote]

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