Reply to I Don’t Want Kids..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m in an emotional tug-a-war. I’m 32, currently dating a great guy for the past 6 months, and I’ve recently decided parenting is not for me. I’ve always wanted kids, but after being a nannny ( I’m now a surgical nurse), I don’t know if that lifestyle is cut out for me. The problem is he really wants kids. We have talked about me moving in, getting engaged, and spending the rest of our lives othether. I don’t want to lose him, but making this choice for him is not fair either. We discussed a little bit of my decision, and he said he didn’t see himself without having a family ( including kids), and that he didn’t want to lose me. He is choosing to believe this may just be a sudden decision based off of fear, rather than a long thoughtout reason. I’m very torn, and I don’t know what to do. 
[/quote]

It’s interesting that you’ve always wanted kids and that’s changed only recently, not while you were in the trenches of working as a nanny or shortly after that. Could there be something about your boyfriend that makes you not want to have kids with him? You might find yourself wanting to have kids with someone else if you let this boyfriend go.

I wonder if people who focus on the work and sacrifice needed for being a parent simply don’t have a vision of a family and times together that they want to realize. Many are probably otherwise very hard working and made sacrifices to go to school/college and to advance in a career. They wouldn’t let the thought of attending all those classes and doing all that homework, or putting in those long hours at the office, stop them from pursuing their goals. But if there are no dreams of times shared with children, family traditions you’d like to pass on, values you’d hope to have carried forward in the next generation, then of course having kids would seem like nothing but work.[/quote]

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