Reply to I Don’t Want Kids..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My STBX did not want kids.  I did and figured he would change his mind eventually.  He wanted to stop at one child.  I wanted another, but it was what I wanted, not what he wanted.  They are older now and are my absolute everything, BUT, I definitely married the wrong man.  I should have found someone who would have made a better father and actually wanted to have kids with me.  So, I think it is fine that you know what you want.  You likely will NOT change your mind and that is fine.  Some people are happier not having kids and I get that.  But, please do the guy a favor and leave him immediately and stop wasting his time.  It is not fair to him.  Let him find someone who has the same vision of marriage/family as he does.  You do you.  I'm sure you'll find someone who is more aligned with your goals for marriage without kids.  Wish I had been smarter about choosing a like-minded partner, as it was a waste of a good part of my life.  Still thankful for my kids though despite it all.  [/quote]

Definitely agree. Alternatively, I know a man who wanted kids but agreed not to because his wife really didn't. He's in his 50s now and this is STILL the thing he immediately starts talking about the moment he has more than 2 drinks - he really regrets it. [/quote]

I am the PP whose husband wanted none and then agreed to have one. He has been a devoted, wonderful, supportive father, and he enjoys it often enough too (but he is not one to gloss over the hardships of parenting and talk about "feeling joy every time he looks into his snowflake's eyes"...for that matter, I am not either, though being a mom is the most valuable experience of my life and I wouldn't change it for a thing).

When I asked for more, he was honest about feeling strongly against it and how it might change our relationship negatively. You know what? I listened. I maybe have pushed, cried, or felt bad at times, but everyone has to compromise, and basically forcing someone to have a kid is a really risky bet. I'm sorry your DH is not what you want him to be, but he told you what's who he would be.

OP needs to be honest and not get in a position where she is steamrolled into having a child/ren. She, her partner, and the kid/s will likely suffer for it.

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