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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read that book. I've been trying to be flexible, but he pushes until he basically decided that he doesn't have to do anything I've asked him to do. Chores, speaking politely, discussing plans, going to bed at a reasonable hour etc etc etc. He seems to want/need boundaries, but I'm having trouble setting them largely because now that I have his phone, I don't have any other leverage.[/quote]

OP, you've established that the "Do what I want or I'll take your stuff" strategy doesn't work for you and your son. Which isn't surprising; it doesn't work for a lot of people, [b]and for the people it does work for, I wonder what kind of parent-child relationship they have when the children are adults.[/b]

So, now what? If you're out of ideas, and you've read books but they weren't helpful, then how about parenting classes or parent counseling?[/quote]

This. I was defiant as a teen. My parents pulled the bullshit of all privileges and i went full rebellion. Some people aren’t built to obey like someone’s dog. And as for a relationship later in life, we didn’t have one for well over a decade after I left the house the day after graduating Highschool. [/quote]

Asking you to do a reasonable share of household chores; asking you to clean up your own mess in the common areas; asking you to keep your room clean -- were these some examples of them treating you like a dog? I can see why you'd want to flee a crushing tyranny like that, and never look back. Quite obviously they should have just paid for everything, let you treat them like servants who existed to cook and clean for you, and never complained or pestered you with any chores that needed doing.[/quote]

You really think taking the door off your kids room because they didn’t pick something up from the floor (OP’s example) is an appropriate response?[/quote]

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