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[quote=Anonymous]Your most basic human needs are not being met in your marriage.  Your DH isn't willing to meet them, and he doesn't want you to have them met by someone else.

For those accusing OP of being selfish--what about her DH? His position is the epitome of selfishness.  Physical intimacy, sexual and non-sexual, is healthy and necessary. It's sad he's not interested or he's incapable or whatever his issue is, but it creates genuine problems.

OP, to address your actual question about whether you ought to do it--only go for it if you are truly willing to absorb any negative consequences.  It's highly likely that it will bring about the end of your marriage, whether or not you're caught.  A few sessions with this guy are not going to solve your problem. More likely you will get a taste of what you need and have been missing and won't be able to stand your life anymore, and/or the sex results in emotional attachment to this guy.  Or worse, affair is discovered by your DH or his DW and there is public pain and humiliation.

My situation wasn't completely like yours, but long story short, I had an affair after many, many years of my needs being unmet. I thought it would help me continue my marriage, kind of like a tune-up. I was crawling out of my skin with need.  I was lucky--we were never caught. I'm glad I did it. It's what I needed at the time. But it was part of my process of realizing how bad my marriage was. I'd have said something similar to you--marriage great except no sex.  Well really, how great is it to be with someone who puts his own needs above your basic needs time and time again, not making effort to do what's important to you?

I'm five years post-divorce and happier than I ever have been.[/quote]

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