Reply to Saying no to an invitation too dance at a MS dance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find this entire thread sad, and indicative of why kids are confused nowadays. Extrapolating everything out to the nth degree is what gets us idiots shaming girls for wearing a non-western styled dress for “insensitive cultural appropriation”. You should not make everything a moral equivalent. Teaching kids social graces in a middle school dance is not the same as consenting to an intimate sexual relationship. It just isn’t.

By teaching them that it’s all the same, you are not teaching them how to recognize and navigate complexity. You are teaching them that everything is a Big Deal and no critical thinking is necessary. Just fall back onto stereotypes, view everything in a particular context or single narrative (gender, race, whatever), and scream away whenever a situation doesn’t fall into your particular version of reality.

I’m teaching my kid not to be a mean girl and gang up and giggle on the kid who isn’t the prettiest jock in the school. Unless there is a known history of the other person being a total jerk to you, you always be kind and try something once. So yes, for a MS dance, absent some compelling circumstance, you say yes. My son will be the same message when he hits that age. [/quote]

What is sad is that you people want to micromanage your kids at dances. My kid can say yes or no to dancing or not with someone. I'm not going to dictate to them what they should be comfortable with. They sonr need 5o apologize for how they feel.

I don't know why you people have the compulsion to control every aspect of your kids thoughts and actions.[/quote]

It’s called teaching kids manners. You had to teach your kids to say please and thank you, you had to teach them to use a fork and knife. This is another new situation, so you have to teach them how to navigate it. It’s called parenting.[/quote]

Uh, no. I do not need to teach my kid how to navigate a school dance. My boys actually go to cotillion and attend plenty of dances. I do not need to micromanage them saying no (and YES girls do ask, they ask alot) all they need to do is say no in a polite way.  That is all.[/quote]

If your boys actually attend cotillion, then they have been taught that you don't decline an invitation to dance - once.  If you don't want to dance again after that, it's fine to decline politely.  But it's very rude to say no to the first invitation, whether a boy or girl does the asking.  At least, this is what is taught at cotillion - where they teach manners.  You seem to be teaching your kids something different.[/quote]

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