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Reply to "Closed Adoption and found the birth mother"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to be cruel, but many of the answers on this thread are why so many women choose abortion over adoption (as PP alluded to). It’s sad that many feel that adopting is the right thing, only to have their lives blown up years later by their child contacting their aunts, cousins, etc. I understand the pain of being adopted, but the fact that you have a family that chose you should mean something. I’m not adopted, but I grew up in a family marred by mental illness, alcoholism, and abuse. I don’t have a second family waiting for me. [/quote] Many didn't choose, especially with the older generations. Abortion was not available or the family would not allow it due to religious beliefs. My child's birth mom would have had an abortion if she could (why isn't important). We have an open adoption on one side and it really helps with adoption issues. Child knows they are loved and supported and those relatives want them to be with us so there is no questioning the normal questions one has. We all speak regularly and they are not only family to our child but us. Yes, all families have issues but with adoption it makes things complicated.[/quote] Older generations? Abortion was widely available in the mid 90s. This was a woman who wanted to have the baby but wanted it to be a closed adoption so she could move on. [/quote] Right. It is very likely that the bio mom is the same age as most of us on this board. I think people are assuming the bio mom is in her 60s or something, but she had OP's sister in the late 90s. When, incidentally, it was almost certainly easier to get an abortion than it is now. [/quote]
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