Reply to 6th grader refusing to go to school- help!!

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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds like the kid has A LOT OF TRAUMA: divorce plus abuse plus whatever else is going on at school.

One factor in school refusal is problems in attachment, which often occur around divorce or adoption.  Essentially, school is a situation which triggers all of the student's negative emotions around being at the mercy of adults.  Kids act out (by refusing school, hw, specific classes) in a misguided effort to create a sense of control for themselves.

The first thing to say: recovery from this dynamic will be a long-term process, on the order of years.  The goal should be to get this kid through HS or a GED, not to get him back into 6th grade right now.

In-patient, IOP, or PHP might help to give the whole family time to get a handle on the issues and craft a treatment plan.

A new school situation can help, if it is one that works on building relationships between student and teacher.  The Fusion one-on-one model is one approach; other small "alternative" settings (e.g. Parkmont) could work as well.

Getting a good therapeutic relationship--one that is focused on the trauma--is essential.  The social worker sounds like he/she is working from an old-school carrots and sticks approach, which may have its place in a treatment plan, but (to my mind) not at the outset--unless the intention is to create a reset of privileges so that the kid can earn things back through compliance with school.[/quote]

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