Reply to 13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card

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Reply to "13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card - WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you know your kid (unless you are in denial) and you know whether he was aware of what was going to happen when he entered that credit card.  I get that some kids are less savvy than others, and that factors in to the consequences.  If he knew and was openly defiant, then you tell him you are now out $300 (do not tell Apple refunded) and he needs to help with a plan to recoup that money.  He can earn it.  He can give cash from any gift savings he has.  You can pass on registering for extracurriculars to save that money.  But most of all you need to give him a hard lesson in trust and the effects of theft and fraud.   You tell him that he's now shown not only is he not able to make correct choices when given independence, but he's deliberately been sneaky and deceitful.  Now you have to take away opportunities for him to be able to do that until he can articulate that he understands and what he can do differently when he gets a new chance.  Lesson to you is that you have to secure your financial materials now and you should tell him that you're disappointed his actions are making you do that.  Don't spare his feelings - he needs to feel guilt and consequences to understand.  Just as he needs to know that you can forgive, but it's on him to rebuild trust and that it is a hard thing to do.  I think it's harder on parents because we have to love and teach our kids.  Tell him that as a parent your job is to teach him but if this had been another family member or friend's parent his reputation would be tainted forever.  [/quote]

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