Reply to S/O Resentment by Men of Easier Access to Sex by Women

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[quote=Anonymous]Married guy here.  I'm going to go a different direction, and take issue with the underlying assumption. I think this changes with age.

In my late teens, 20's, and perhaps early 30's, I agree the women had the power in dating / relationships.  I can remember some of my friends who got laid a lot by beautiful girls when we were younger.  But as time has passed, a couple of things have changed:

- Intelligence, drive, and career success started becoming more important.  Early on, all the women wanted to sleep with the star athlete.  Removing those who get paid to play, a lot of those guys are now welders, working construction, or power washing bridges for the state (I still keep up with a lot of my former teammates).  Many of them weigh over 300 pounds.  The guys that were bright and went to good schools, then went on to successful careers all of a sudden started getting interest from women who wouldn't have looked twice 10 years earlier.

- Men start to die / get disabled / get incarcerated.  Men are more likely to engage in risk behavior (including crime).  This is one of the causal factors for all the studies showing more eligible women than men in major urban areas looking for a mate.

- Nature starts to affect looks (for men and women) starting anywhere from one's 30s to 40s.  It has been covered ad nauseam here, but men have a structural advantage wrt aging's effects on their looks.

- Marriage starts to remove people from the pool that are best suited for long term relationships.  I think women are more likely to look at a partner's long term potential (for obvious biological reasons) than men.  When choosing who they want to sleep with, I agree a man's criteria (even one with high standards) are simpler and shallower.

- Men highly value youth in selecting potential partners, women do not as much.  You can change a lot of things, but you can never make yourself any younger.

I think if you are a reasonably attractive person in reasonably good shape, man or woman, you will have access to sex (including one night stands) if you drop your standards enough.  Personally, I have really high standards; I've never so much as kissed a woman I wasn't attracted to, much less slept with her.

The older you are (I noticed it happening around 30), the more the dynamic changes from heavily biased toward women to heavily biased toward men.  I know beautiful 38 year old women dating very normal 44 year old men, because the super handsome or successful 38 year old men are all either gay, married, or want to date beautiful 28 year old women.

I'm not saying any of this is fair, or right, just things I've observed.[/quote]

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