Reply to Do women have a hard time when they marry down?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From the women that I know, those who married men from a class or so below them are unhappy.

They’re used to a certain lifestyle and when the husband can’t match it, they’re frustrated and unhappy.

The class doesn’t matter as much of the husband is a high earner. But if not, it’s very very hard.

Agree? Disagree? [/quote]

It's not about money, it's about views, opinions, preferences, habits, customs etc.  Those require money to a certain extent but not overwhelmingly.

Let's put it this way.  Marry a guy who makes less money? Sure, why not.  Marry a guy who thinks children do not need language or piano lessons?  Nope.  Marry a guy who wears Target clothing? Sure, why not.  Marry a guy who never cracks a book open, never goes to the theater or opera, never wants to do anything cultural? Nope.

Marriage is easier when you have compatible views on how money ought to be spent, how children ought to be raised, what is important to check off etc.  These views differ very much across classes, and navigating them is hard work.  Marriage is hard to begin with, no point making it harder than it needs to be.

I married someone from a different continent, different religion, makes less money than me, but has compatible views on child-rearing and values.  We have a good marriage. [/quote]

This. I’m tired of disagreeing on everything from what house to buy (not price, style), to what opportunities to offer the kids, where to eat for dinner (bbq or Olive Garden again??? I’ll pass), what to do over breaks, how to decorate the house, and what kind of education the kids should have.  He’s a good person but his tastes never evolved past college. Sometimes people’s tastes change with age and experience, but often what you’re exposed to in your youth shows and unless you want to live very separate lives, disagreeing on so much takes a toll.  We politely disagree on politics and religion and that’s the easy part.

A lot of posters here are focused on gold diggers, and they’re missing the point.[/quote]

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