Reply to Do you care about being estranged from your adult children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lots of young adults cutting their parents off for perceived mistreatment these days. The parents are destroyed. The young adults don't care. They will care, one day, when they realize they aren't perfect parents either.
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Not true. Children don’t cut off their parents without good reason.

“perceived mistreatment” is often abuse that the parents refuse to acknowledge or own.

[/quote]

Nope. My niece just announced one day that she was no longer interested in being part of our family. She wasn't abused. Quite the contrary. It's been six years since she's contacted any relatives. She lives with a group of friends who pretend to be lords and ladies from olden times. (no peasants)[/quote]

I love how everyone is always so certain that there was no abuse. Surely you’re aware that these things are often well concealed?

I’m not saying your niece was abused, I just find it interesting how outsiders are so quick to conclude that there is no valid reason for the child to choose estrangement.[/quote]

Obviously you can never know for certain, but sometimes one party really doesn't know the reason. My MIL used to be very close with her brother. They talked on the phone all the time, visited all the time, her niece was very close to her. Then one day MIL's brother and SIL and niece simply stopped returning her calls, stopped calling her, stopped all contact other than very minimal. She honestly does not know why. None of us do. My husband used to be very close to his uncle and he doesn't know why either. They live 20 mins from us and we haven't seen them in 6 years despite our repeated invitations. They didn't come to our son's bris nor our daughter's baby naming. They did send a gift for each and they accept the gifts everyone sends to them. They just apparently have no need to be part of the family anymore. MIL managed to get out of them that it was nothing she or anyone else had done, but they wouldn't give any kind of reason. It's bizarre. The last time I saw them was at my wedding 12 years ago. Not that I miss them personally -- never did care for them, to be honest -- but it's obnoxious and rude what they've done to my husband and inlaws.[/quote]

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