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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. 
Thank you all again for your advice and thoughts.

After a day of silence between us, I tried to fairly and openly communicate my thoughts and feelings to my wife last night via text. [/quote]

We stonewalled each other and then I picked the least effective means available to communicate about my feelings

[quote=Anonymous]

As usual, she ignored all of them. When I told her this morning how much that hurt my feelings, she told me not to write her in the middle of the night, although it was 9 pm and she was upstairs on her phone).

[/quote]

She was doing something else and I'm mad that she didn't drop it and pay attention to my text.

[quote=Anonymous]

I told her that it seems like she doesn't care about or even respect my thoughts and feelings and that I didn't want to fight in front of the boy, so I went downstairs to get away from her and get ready for work.

[/quote]

I got in a zinger and left.

[quote=Anonymous]

She, of course, followed me downstairs and started screaming at me while the kid is upstairs crying and wanting to finish the breakfast she started feeding him.

[/quote]

Then she tried to get in a zinger.

[quote=Anonymous]

She actually stopped feeding [b]her baby[/b] to continue yelling at me.

[/quote]

I'm now raising the specter that the baby isn't mine.

[quote=Anonymous]

She also told me that my feelings and thoughts are "Blah blah blah". Even those of you blaming me for all of this can surely see how invalidating and cruel her words are.

[/quote]

My wife accurately described what it feels like to have someone trying to talk to you when you are physiologically flooded and not able to process incoming information; she was also sarcastic, which I assume everyone reading this will recognize as a point in my favor.

[quote=Anonymous]

Since she has blocked me via text and phone, I am going to write her today with a list of issues that have gone unresolved for several years.

[/quote]

She's communicated via every available method that she is not able to deal with what I need to discuss right now, so I am now going to pile on with a long list of stuff we've never been able to resolve in the past.

[quote=Anonymous]

These include my insistence that she see an individual therapist...I made this request after she pushed me down the stairs two years ago and tried to cut her wrists with a kitchen knife. I have been seeing the same therapist for over four years and it has been a tremendous help; she has seen at least four therapists over the past two years and will not commit to any of them; they're all too hard on her background, apparently.

[/quote]

She's the crazy one here, not me.

[quote=Anonymous]

I'm going to tell her that if steps are not taken to resolve all of the issues, I will have no choice but to file for divorce in order to provide a stable situation for our son.

I also plan on telling her I am going to file for full custody; I am in the process of changing jobs from an office/cubicle government gig to a remote work with travel situation, and I will be able to live wherever I want. I will also be making more money than her, living in a place with better schools and higher median income than our current neighborhood. I don't have every indiscretion of hers documented, but I have a few.

Is there any way a judge would side with me?[/quote]

To facilitate the complete resolution of my long list of issues, none of which we've been able to discuss successfully before, I'm going to issue a bunch of threats. [/quote]

OP here, thank you for this. It is actually very helpful and insightful, albeit kinda shitty to realize.

Just FYI I did not send any threats or ultimatums to her today. I wrote everything out and then didn't send it.

I wasn't mad that "she didn't drop it and pay attention to my text", I was frustrated because we've set a standard of communication that isn't followed when she's mad. That seems inherently selfish to me.

I really wasn't trying to get in a zinger and run away. I was trying to avoid further conflict with her in front of the kid.

The baby is most certainly mine and I'm not sure why I said "her baby" other than to note that it felt like she cared more about herself and her emotions at the time.

[/quote]

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