Reply to My wife wants to present to the world that everything is perfect

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know a lot of WASPY people like OP's wife.

In short, it's a case of selfishness and self interest.  OP's wife/mother of his child-in-crisis seeks to preserve her social standing and outward appearance above the best interests of her daughter.  She cares more about how other people see her than what is going on internally for her kid.

I would not be surprised if this selfish behavior is part of or even THE cause of the cutting and problematic behaviors in the child.[/quote]

Oh please!  You are so mean.[/quote]

Mean to point out selfish women who sacrifice the well being of their loved ones for some social bullsh*t?  Let me guess, you're one of them.[/quote]
DP. Extra sharing can also mean harm. OP is ready to shout to the whole world. Long email to a teacher does not make sense at all. If he went to talk to the teacher, I would have a different opinion. [/quote]

Did you even read the OP?  Even assuming that Op is over sharing with the teacher (which he is not) Op's wife doesn't even want to discuss how much to share.  She just shuts down.  She is definitely putting her own needs above her daughter's.

Not to mention the support group thing.  Wtf?

Dysfunctional, cowardly, and selfish.

I would override her, OP.  At this point, your DD comes first.  Let your wife throw her hissy fits.[/quote]
I just read OP's answer. Looks like OP's approach is to involve lots of people. It may or may not work, we don't know. I disagree with the assessment of the wife's behavior as a hissy fit, it might be what works for her. My family is very private and that's where my friend turned for help when she knew that her parents will overshare (and my parents can legally keep secrets). You don't know what works and neither anybody else. So far we see three very stubborn people in this family, lots of power struggle, not fun. Maybe one will realize that. [/quote]

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