Reply to My wife wants to present to the world that everything is perfect

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am at wits end over this.

DW likes to pretend everything is find, and make everything look like it is perfect at home.  But, sometimes it is not.  And there are time/places when it is ok to let people into our chaos (in my opinion).

Our DD is in crisis.  Cutting and a half-hearted suicide attempt recently.  We are getting her the help.  First, DW did not want to inform anyone at the school what was going on.  Eventually. we agreed that we would talk to her counselor now, and teachers on a need to know basis.  But, when the need pops up, she does not want to explain why our child is having troubles while asking for compassion.  I had written a long email to one of her teachers (who needed to know something is going on) outlining that DD is in crisis, the duration of the crisis, and how we are trying to help her -- 3 days a weak in an intensive program where she does not get home until 8 PM.  And what I was asking from the teacher was not for a change in grade, but to look at the body of work (and not just the test scores) in assigning next year's class.  DW accuses me of over sharing then gets angry and shuts down.

But, the worst happens at family night in the intensive program.  We are in a group setting.  Everyone there has a kid in some degree of crisis.  I am talking, referring to our child's cutting and she says people do not need to know it.  Well, it is relevant.

Our life is not unicorns and rainbows.  It is ok to admit it.  [/quote]

Sounds like my mother-in-law. Her need for approval, even if it comes from strangers, is so strong it trumps everything!

It sucks, OP, I'm sorry.[/quote]

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