Reply to Is it OK to tell DD that it is OK not to be pretty?

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Reply to "Is it OK to tell DD that it is OK not to be pretty?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think we all understand that there’s more to life than looks, but I think many of you are missing the point.  Sure, you can tell your daughter that, and all the platitudes in the world “beauty is only skin deep, it’s better to be kind/smart/etc.).  But the real question is:  should we tell our daughters they’re beautiful (or our sons/handsome).  The answer is, unequivocally, YES!

Any child who is told, “Oh honey, looks don’t matter, it’s so much more important to be smart and well-rounded,” blah blah blah, is absolutely going to realize that his or her parents don’t think they’re attractive.  That’s what this comes down to.  And if you love your children, you will make them feel secure in ALL ways.  Tell them they’re beautiful.  Otherwise they will internalize the message your sending them for the rest of their lives.[/quote]
I tell my kids they are beautiful, but they respond, "You have to say that because you are my mom". Kids aren't that dumb.  You need to be honest in a tactful way.  And yes, I tell them about how beauty is fleeting and it's only skin deep, though in a much more nicer, thoughtful way.[/quote]

Of course they’re not dumb!  They also don’t really want to know that they’re unattractive!  Telling them the truth about their looks is not a kindness.  At all.[/quote]

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