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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am so sorry. The "dark skinned child needs to take a bath" and the offensive bumper sticker are both totally over the line. The fact that they were "inspired" to send that because your children received their traditional names is particularly horrible--they were straight up making fun of your culture.

But, as other PPs have said, what you really have is a DH problem. If he understood why these things are so harmful and that it is his job to stand up for you and your children, he would speak to his parents, and either they'd shape up and apologize or you'd all stop seeing them.

Have you considered talking to a counselor with your husband? It might help to have an objective third party there to help you get through to him. Either that, or it will make it 100% clear that he is on his parents' side and not yours and the kids'. If that is what happens, I think you have a very hard decision to make: either you get divorced, or you have to set the boundary with your ILs that he refuses to set. That means you talk to your in-laws, explain that the bumper sticker and the "bath" comment (and whatever else) are unacceptable, and that if they say things like that again they will not be able to see your kids. Then you have to enforce that. I'm sure your DH won't like that but I don't think you have a choice. :( [/quote]

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