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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - to clarify a couple of points that seem to be causing people a bit of heartburn....

As for the second-hand/hand-me-down items.... We sent four medium-sized moving boxes full of second-hand stuff in new or like-new condition - including a wifi enabled video monitor system, bouncer, diaper pail, baby tub, and an infant car seat that we used only twice. We also included a boatload of clothes, bottles, baby proofing items, etc. Some of these items were given to us and never even opened so they were in their original packaging. We didn't send her a box of some crappy, overwashed, stained onesies.

Second.... My other niece (with whom I have a close relationship), planned the shower and sent the invites. She knew what we had sent our pregnant niece. (She asked what we sent so they wouldn't need to put those items on the registry.) It would have been her decision not to send us the registry info, not the mother's.

The mother was not in a position to use the shower as a gift-grab as she wasn't invited, but I also would not be surprised if she were encouraging my pregnant niece to ask for more now. My former SIL is deeply emotionally disturbed and my pregnant niece, who was the oldest child still at home when the marriage fell apart, struggles with their boundaries the most. Now, I agree with the pps who said not to overthink it and I've chosen to think the best. However, if you knew the history, it would not surprise you that anyone might be suspicious - cold medicine and flu notwithstanding.[/quote]

It’s interesting to send her piles of miscellaneous things that you didn’t use - even if it’s still in the packaging - but you stillsend your niece a proper baby gift as well. You have the resources - stop talking to strangers and trying to justify your behavior - and look up her rwgistry  and send her something from it. Or a gift card.[/quote]

Is this a generational thing? I don't understand the entitled attitude. When I had twins, the best gifts I got were exactly what op described. One of my dh's coworkers packaged up a lot of their used/barely used items. They were useful, practical items. My pregnant nanny spent her time being upset that no one had bought the cute, I kid you not, strawberry bikini with terry cover up for an infant off of her registry. [/quote]

You should reread this and think about where your own entitlement lies.[/quote]

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