Reply to Boyfriend lets Ex write checks out of his account

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She will always be her first wife and the mother of his kids. If you can't deal with it break up.[/quote]

That's not the point.  The point is should your ex-spouse have access to your money.  OP has been in a relationship with Dad for 3 years and now living together.  He hasn't moved on from his first marriage.  Mom can front the money and dad can bank transfer, pay pal, what ever app or send a bank check within a few days if he agrees.  No reason for her to have access even though it sounds like she's responsible about it.  Personally I'd run fast.  I'd never move in with someone who will not marry me.  I married a guy with kids.  If ex needed extra money on top of child support and he agreed he'd immediately put a check in the mail.  Done.  It is her business if she plans to marry this guy and then things become shared.[/quote]

Divorced mom here.  Love your assumption "mom can front the money".  Frankly, it isn't my job to "front my husband the money".  He is a parent and he is equally responsible to pay for cheer camp by the due date.  If he wants to bank transfer, pay pal or whatever directly himself by the due date fine.  If it were my husband who did that, and he gave me checks to pay on his behalf, then I'd do it as a courtesy, but frankly, it's ME who's doing HIM the favor by freeing him of the administrative responsibility of bill paying on behalf of the kids.  If I didn't do it, then he's got to track and pay for stuff on his own -- it's not my responsibility to remind him.

FWIW, I don't have checks, and I am often left to pay for things for the kids and sometimes it takes my Ex a couple of weeks to pay me back.  Meanwhile I am accruing credit card interest by carrying his financial load.  It's not fair.

[/quote]

One would assume you get child support.  That is supposed to pay for the children's needs for dad's portion and you are also supposed to contribute.  If you have primary custody, then it is your responsibility to do it all.  If you don't want to front the money, tell him to pay the program or need directly and he'll do it when he chooses.  My husband's child support covered everything.  Anything over was his choice.  (and he learned eventually Mom would make fake demands and never use the money on the kids).  So, yes, he'd want to see a receipt and Mom prepay and a phone number to call and verify.  Or, he could pay directly.[/quote]

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