Reply to Is it possible to cheat and not get caught?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is it possible to cheat and not get caught?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Don't listen to the high horse people.  They either stopped sleeping with their spouses and think that is OK because cheaters are always at fault, or can't imagine what it would be like to be in our situation.

It's not wearing away at my soul at all. I was aging prematurely, depressed, constantly stressed, barely sleeping for a long time before my affair began.  Now I sleep well, the years seem to have peeled off, I walk with confidence, and I'm getting hit on a lot-- which I believe is because I'm comfortable in my own skin and look like a sexual, desirable person again.  My husband gave up on sex, work, effort, self care, and most of his personal relationships.  He even places the burden on me -- the sole breadwinner -- of working to maintain *his* relationship with our child.  He would be destitute if I left, and I'd owe him spousal support and child support I can't afford for at least a few years.  My child would lose a home and live in two shitty apartments.  None of what my husband did is the child's fault and in spite of what the "it takes two" crowd will tell you, it's actually not my fault that my husband refused to treat his depression and ADHD, refused to maintain friendships and became more isolated, refused to hear our marriage counselor's advice to get his own house in order, and now refuses to earn money.  It's just the hand I've been dealt.  So I get love and sex elsewhere and keep a roof over our heads, give my child access to a father who's not perfect but who is at least there, and loving. Anyone who thinks my husband can make the choice for me to have a sexless life, and the only way I can avoid that is to make the choice for my child to have a fatherless life, can go scratch.

And on affairs:

Yes, you absolutely can cheat without getting caught.  Cheating on business travel is easy and uncomplicated.  I hope your potential AP is also either married or committed to staying in his city so there's no chance he'll want to spill it and disrupt your life. If you know your AP won't want more and you always do this on trips where you'd be out of town anyway, I'd say you could do it for years without being caught.  If this is a city where you have a lot of contacts now, don't kiss and hold hands in public.  But you can meet in your hotel, even go to a restaurant first if it legitimately looks like a business dinner.

My AP and I live in the same city, see each other a lot. When we want extended time together, we coordinate our business travel and create hybrid business/pleasure trips. Heavy on pleasure. We are out in the open when we're in a strange city, and very secretive when in the DMV.

It's true that you have to try to be the same when you're at home. It's complicated when you fall in love.  But it's worth it.  Life is not supposed to be about misery.  Having a child with someone who breaks their vows by being a low-character person shouldn't sentence you to years of loneliness and pain.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics