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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

The thing that brought us to marriage counseling in the first place was that I didn't want to be doing this anymore: doing EVERYTHING, even the things that required his email.  I didn't realize, initially, that he had ADHD, and I was upset that HE WANTED ME to be signing into his email to be doing all these things.

So, the PPs who think I am trying to control him somehow, are just totally missing the point.  I'm desperate for DH to take some "control" back from me, for DH to be more independent, but he's doing it in all the wrong ways.  And I'm not about to let my kids not be enrolled in their school next year because he will never even notice the email that says he has to sign the contract.  Whether or not we could have or should have somehow set it up to go to a separate email address (although, I'm not quite sure he's ready or wanting to accept that he literally can't have his parent email address at his kids school be his personal email address, because he certainly wants to think of himself as more involved than that), we haven't done that yet - because up until at most a year ago, HE was thrilled to have me do everything for him and sign into his email, and *I* was the one who wished he did more things for himself.

But the way to affect change in our relationship was not to change his password without telling me, making it impossible for me to my job, AND not take the initiative to check his email and start doing these tasks himself, either.[/quote]

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