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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an 8th grade boy (can't be the one in question since he doesn't do Quiz Bowl, among other things) and there's an issue here that sort of dumbfounds me. OP is basically allowing her daughter to dictate her response to this incident. I think that's a huge mistake.

I'm not sure what the right response to this would be. Personally I'd track down the parents (it's not that hard, even at a big public MS.) At minimum, I'd talk to the assistant principal or guidance counselor. They've seen it all before, and even without specifics can offer good advice. My son received an inappropriate text and the school admins were incredibly helpful.

But all that said, if you're going to cede decisionmaking on how to handle this to your daughter, you're setting a terrible precedent. I'm a very chill parent, not remotely the disciplinarian type, but the threat to cut off talking to mom wouldn't fly for me. It's unenforceable in any case; you can pull your punches today in hopes of keeping the lines of communication open and you have zero guarantees that she's telling you everything anyway. So you've given her the upper hand and gained nothing. And be prepared for her to repeat this threat anytime you want to do something she doesn't like.

Personally I'd also pull her off Snapchat for a while. Yeah, I know it's ubiquitous. But there are actually quite a few kids who don't engage in that. My son had Snapchat for about 3 days and deleted it. He's a happy well-adjusted social kid who manages to survive without it.

If that's too extreme for the OP, you might consider negotiating a contract with your daughter about social media use and electronics. A lot of my friends have done that with their kids and it's useful for setting parameters and laying out consequences. You pay the bills for that phone, you are responsible if she does start down the road of sexting -- why shouldn't she have to abide by some minimal expectations?

'You have a few more years to teach your kids good judgment and resilience before they're totally on their own. Bowing to your daughter's fear of social backlash in a situation that involves serious and complicated stuff is a recipe for disaster.[/quote]

I agree with this. Why are 13 year olds ruling the roost here? Be the adult in the situation, OP.[/quote]

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