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[quote=Anonymous]What’s been helpful for me is hearing some of my co-workers stories of their kids over the years.  The kids don’t always have the top testing or have the perfect grades.  However when things click for the kids and they are willing to work hard for what they decide they what to pursue it has ended up working out in the long run.  Someone had a child where it happened 11th grade, so he didn’t have the grades to get into the college he wanted.  He worked hard at the college he went to, brought in top grades,  transferred to a college that had one of the top programs in that field and a strong alumni, graduated as one of the top students in the department, and had a job in his field when he graduated.

I understand the idea that you want your child to have options and choices.  But I always balance that with letting my kids know there is more than one path ...the other path may be harder but that doesn’t mean you can’t get there.  I try to look at the big picture of what they need in life when they graduate from high school and are legally adults.  Are they able to advocate for themselves in different situations - roommates, work, school work, health concerns, finances.  I was one of the top students in high school but speaking up for myself much less leading other people did not come naturally and not having the skills made my career journey harder.  Do they have what they need to be emotionally healthy?  Do they understand actions and consequences and take responsibility for their actions? I know in the teenage brain the risk taking is more active than thinking out the consequences.  Even with that I want my kids to understand they will be held to the consequences of their actions.  If you choose not to turn in homework that low A becomes a B.  That B may have an impact or can make it that much harder if you decide you want to do X.  As a parent I try to keep things from going too far off the rails while they find their path realizing it may be different from my own.[/quote]

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