Reply to Care to share what you (or loved ones) pay for assisted living?

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[quote=Anonymous]Mother is in assisted living here in Arlington and the fees hover just under $10,000 per month. father is in assisted living in Northeast fornjust under $7,000. That doesn’t include medications or doctors co-pays or the cost of the helpers I have to hired to take them to their multitude of specialist appointments. I looked at a ton of places in both areas of the country and any that was halfway decent — emphasis on n the halfway — was around these prices. It’s also hard to get into these places as they often have only one or two openings at a time or a waitlist. The smaller group homes can be cheaper and maybe better care, but they can also be isolating as there aren’t as many people buzzing around nor as many activities. I’ve learned that the activities can be very important for QOL even for people who are very sick and can’t really participate. Just sitting among a larger group of people provides comfort.

The whole thing is insane in my view. I worry every day about running out of money for them. If you can’t addord these places, you have to apply for Medicaid. The number of Medicaid beds is extremely limited and many are in sibstandard places from what I’ve seen. Additionally, some have a requirement that you have private paid for some period of time before you can qualify for one of their Medicaid beds.

In addition, should your loved one become ill and need hospitalization, things can go south really quickly from a cost perspective. Hospitalization can do a number on an older person’s cognition and you may find yourself having to pay thousands out of pocket for a sitter to essentially stay with your loved one and ensure that he doesn’t hurt himself during a fit of hospitalmdelusion. You’ll also have to keep paying the assisted living fees for the room. This happened to us with my father and our monthly expenses were in excess of $20,000 for a three month period until he came out of the delusion.

Honestly the system is a nightmare. We have LTC insurance, which has its own problems but may be better than nothing, and are saving aggressively so as to try not to burden our children with this when we are old. We may not be able to leave them an inheritance, but at least we won’t — hopefully — burden them this way. After going through this with my parents, I often look around and find myself wondering if people know what awaits them when they age. It is truly awful.

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