Reply to S/O Do women play "hard to get" anymore?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - My original post probably wasn't the clearest, but I'm not getting back into the dating scene. I was more trying to figure out how to view the current news about gender relations. Back in my day, there was a certain level of expectation that a woman should make a guy chase her a little bit. Viewed through that lens, you give a guy a certain leeway to keep pursuing when a woman is playing hard to get. If that sort of thing isn't common anymore, then it makes it a lot clearer that a guy should just stop when his initiation isn't pretty immediately met with enthusiastic reciprocation. [/quote]

You are in your late 40s? I'm just a couple of years younger, and I call bullshit. :) There were plenty of women in the 80s and 90s who were enthusiastically pursuing men. And you don't "give a guy a certain leeway to keep pursuing". What do you mean by this, exactly? No has always meant no, and women have been pretty overt with that message since the second wave; you could hardly not have known.

If you were in your 60s or 70s, maybe I'd buy this.[/quote]

Fellow 40-something here.  I think there is some difference though.  I really don't think we were as casual about sex as young women are today, as evidenced by this Aziz story, the Cat Person tale, and even this week's Modern Love column.  [b]We had our share of one-night stands to be sure, but we didn't expect them to turn into relationships, and I don't think we considered them to be standard everyday dating like today's women do.[/b][u]  They seem to be having a lot of sex outside of relationships, and are then surprised when they're not treated respectfully.  There's a disconnect there as I and others see it.  [/quote]

This, exactly.

40 year old man here, had my share on ONS too.  In retrospect, they were fun, clumsy, amusing.  Occasionally hot, sometimes exciting but rarely as great as your expectations were because we are human and it usually takes time to get into a sexual rhythm.  I feel bad for my younger friends, they just don't date, they text and have sex (or don't have sex) which leaves out the essential human connection that takes sex from "release" to existential human connection.[/quote]

41 here, and agree with all of this. One night stands were occasional and no one expected them to turn into relationships.
Getting oral sex on the first date seems really, really...intimate (?) to me.

I think she was disappointed that he was just interested in her as a one night stand, not as a relationship. She should have used her words like a big girl, and he should have been more sensitive--but they were both drinking, as well, which probably didn't help matters.

(And the repeated part of sticking his fingers in her mouth...what is that? I read a lot of romance novels and have never heard of that move.)[/quote]

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