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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[color=red]I have a great husband, does a lot, cares about me, doesn't slack off. I STILL don't find sex with him interesting any longer. I do it -- very regularly! -- but the biological idea that women get bored and want somebody new more than men do resonates with me.

I'm happy in my marriage -- as a co parenting, co living situation. Do I find my husband attractive, sexy, interesting? No. But this is mostly not his fault. [/quote][/color]

[color=blue]Agreed. You could be my wife. Aside from me being a good partner and father, objectively, I am a "high value" male: ultra fit, top 1% income, lots of friends, other women show interest, etc. So I no longer take it personally that "she" does not find me sexy. It's not her fault, it is just how women are wired. Like you, we still have regular sex, and I graciously accept her "gift" since I still have an active interest in sex.

[b]PP, is there anything your H could do to improve your desire? I would seriously consider issuing her permanent hall pass, it would be worth it if she would bring some of that excitement back into our bedroom.[/color][/b][/quote]

Wife here. Not experiencing bed death yet, but we’ve only been together 8 years.  I get turned on when I observe other women interested in DH and flirt with him (I have to witness the threat firsthand).  And when we spend a good amount of time apart, like 4 days or more.  Or if someone is flirting with me, I can take that energy home to him.  Otherwise I need to turn to my own resources to get turned on for him.  Monogamy is hard, no two ways about it![/quote]

You, PP in blue, have more going for you than my DH (I'm the OP in Red). My DH could get fit (he's quite out of shape, and I find it a turn-off). I'd like him to be better groomed, but requests sometimes go unheaded, and I'm uncomfortable dictating his grooming habits. Money, we are not in the to 1% of income, but I don't expect that to happen anytime soon, our income is adequate. He's intelligent, well read, and well spoken. A hall pass would be  interesting and lovely, but we flirted with open marriage idea but he really was uncomfortable with that  idea, and didn't want to go there.

I [i]have [/i]an active interest in sex. Just not so much with my husband. I do try to be grateful everyday for what I have -- a thoughtful, caring partner! -- but you know, that doesn't get women wet. What do I want? Yeah, an open relationship would be great, but dangerous. I'm not certain I wouldn't fall in love with the other person.[/quote]

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