Reply to What if you picked wrong in your 20s?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I picked wrong in my 20s and worse than alone and single, I am still married to him now in my early 50s.[/quote]

This is the fate of many of my friends. They are in their late forties. Many talk about divorce, but now they're screwed. Most haven't worked in decades. 
[/quote]

They're getting exactly what they deserve.[/quote]
You sound awful.[/quote]

This is why you get a JOB and WORK, not only to support your family to be able to provide for yourself in case your marriage goes downhill.[/quote]

It’s not always that easy. My DH works in a field that is very family-unfriendly: have to move every 2-4 years, can’t do many sick days, can rarely do school pickups and drop offs, gets called to go in at a moment’s notice at all hours of the day and night, lots of travel. It is 100% on spouses to handle childcare, and many couples make the choice together for the spouse to give up work so that the working spouse can advance their career, and the other spouse isn’t stuck with a career that is going nowhere plus all childcare. Very few of the men he works with have wives who work, and those that do have pink-collar jobs with little room for advancement (eg teacher). So even though they are working it’s not enough money to support themselves if they divorce.

I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to convince my DH to let me work because he doesn’t want any responsibility. He doesn’t want to have to arrange backup childcare if he gets called in on a day he is supposed to care for the kids. Doesn’t want to give up his company car so he can do pickups and drop offs (they can’t have kids in the company cars). Doesn’t want to stay in an area for an extra year so my career can advance, he wants to move so he can advance his own. Thinks the fact that he was working first absolves him from parental duties. This attitude isn’t just him, it’s rampant in his field, especially at higher level positions. [/quote]

Did your husband make a unilateral decision to switch fields after you married and had kids?[/quote]

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