Reply to Several States considered laws to promote shared custody of children after divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But why are women even marrying men who can't do 50% in the first place? Are they making that much money that you just don't care? I can't believe there are this many men who only do 10% of child rearing. The men I see are incredibly hands on dads and I can't believe they'd get less than shared custody in a divorce. [/quote]

In my case, I didn’t realize how incapable my XH was until we were married and our responsibilities increased and some things simply could not be hidden or denied. Something always had to give with him. If it wasn’t work being neglected, it was parenting, or our relationship, or his individual needs. He never quite had to balance things before - he thought he did well comparative to the dysfunction he had come from - and I didn’t realize how little capacity he had to manage being a well functioning adult that could optimize production in each area of life. He still struggles with that.  Capability is one thing, capacity is another. I think roles in Marriage varying around that are pretty common though. Ideally you two complement each other and build capacity together.[/quote]

I don't get how you didn't see that when you were dating.  That makes no sense to me.[/quote]

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