Reply to Several States considered laws to promote shared custody of children after divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Shared custody should be the default absent reasons not to do it. Child support should be based on what the kid(s) need and who makes what. [/quote]

+1. I’m all for it. When mothers presume they are more worthy of custody it really bugs me. [/quote]

They are more worthy of custody because they carry and gave birth to the child.  Also because we live in a country without guaranteed paid maternity leave and feeerr protections for pregnant women or women with young children.  So this means women are affected more by having children than men.  Now you're saying women should take unpaid leave and hurt their careers by having children but then if they get divorced should have to pay 50 percent of the costs.  [/quote]

Sorry but no. DH and I both took maternity and paternity leave. Choose an equal marriage. Women and men should each provide for their own households and own expenses after marriage. Kid's expenses should be split equally. This isn't the 1950s, women have the ability to make the same amount as men. [/quote]

It depends on what is going on in your home.  My husband, if I was working would out earn me buy 3-4 times.  When we got married we were equal but he was in a career with upward progression and has done vey well.  On the other hand, we have a SN child who needed a lot of therapies and my salary would barely cover a nanny and I hated my job so he encouraged me to quit (glad he did as I would not have on my own).  Then, his mom started to need full time care so she lived with us for a year and then went to a nursing home but I am still heavily involved... now my parents.  Child still needs therapies and after school activities.  1-3 days a week I'm with his mom or one of my parents who need help.  [b]I don't have the luxury of working right now[/b].  Husband has a flexible enough job but also travels a week a month or so (not told about when hired).  Ideally, I could get a job, but then who is going to pick up some of the slack as I'd have to start all over in my career making 1/2 of what I did.  Its sometimes a bunch of bad choices.  It may not be the 1950's but there are reasons for one parent to stay home and its not as easy as you make it.[/quote]

That bold sentence undercuts the rest of what you wrote. [/quote]

I don't have the luxury of working.  I have to be at the nursing home a few times a week, get my child to the therapy appointments, etc.  It would cost me more to pay someone to do everything I do than I would earn working so working right now would be a luxury.  I cannot just abandon his mom, nor can I stop doing for my child who needs these therapies in order to try to catch up. [/quote]

LOL. Some people have to work regardless, even if all those other things are going on too. My partner and I could never afford everything if we didn't both work, so if one of our parents got sick we would both still be working and dealing with that too. Luxury of working? I hope you know just how privileged you are, and of course that your husband never leaves you.....[/quote]. So, you have no parents needing help and no special needs children.  So, how is your situation like the PPs?   [/quote]

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