Reply to Several States considered laws to promote shared custody of children after divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I think this is an interesting discussion. One aspect that isn’t much discussed on this chain is parenting differences. I think most fathers have a pretty different interaction with kids than most mothers. As a mom, I can find it very frustrating. I pick up my son,  it’s 30° outside, he has a T-shirt and shorts on, and he’s trying to say that he’s cold but his teeth are chattering too much to get the words out. Or another example is that one weekend my son spent the entire weekend in the exact same clothes that I sent him to school with on the Thursday before.

I admit I am very torn. I think it’s important for children to have close relationships with both parents. I think when one parent has primary physical custody, it is very hard to have that close relationship with the other parent. I also think it’s great for kids to see that people can parent differently. But I’m worried that in our families case, the differences are harmful to our son.[/quote]

What you are describing is not "parenting differences," it is "neglectful parenting."

My DC's father regularly forgets to care for them in different ways (having appropriate food in the house when they visit, dropping visitation frequently, not attending to school meetings and events or helping or even making time for homework, making them sleep on the sofa or inflatable bed at his house even though he could afford to buy beds for them, forgetting to feed them, clothing them inappropriately, not being able to care for them properly when sick, etc.)  Basically, as the DC's have grown older, they have recognized that he is a neglectful parent and this is hurtful to them and has damaged their relationship with him.

It's not a parenting difference.  It's neglect. [/quote]

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