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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here

Thanks for the replies. I know it's not the the most rational thing but it does bother me and I can see myself getting resentful towards her for it. She already has joked to take the kids from us at various points. Since we got married she would say things like, they can just live with me and they would probably be happier living with me than in a tiny big city apt, she asked if she could homeschool our kids and they can just live with her m-f. I've played nice. A lot. I'm just tired of always feeling like she is undermining me and crossing boundaries. It starts with mama X and then she will start using mama flat out.

My plan right now is just to refer to her as her initials to the kids. [/quote]

If these are her only "offenses," it sounds like you two just have very dissimilar personalities.  I gently suggest that you'll be happier if you don't view things like this in the worst possible light, instead choosing to have a more charitable interpretation.

For example, at least 10 people have joked with me that they want to "steal" my kids, put them in their purses and take them away, etc.  My step-mother says they would enjoy a country farm with her instead of strict old mommy, etc.  My response is to laugh and say I'm pretty attached to them so they're stuck with me,  :)  I wouldn't consider laughing this off to be "playing nice" and I wouldn't think she is "undermining you" or "crossing any boundaries."  Instead, I think she is just joking around and must really love my kids (yeah!).

As for the name thing, the kids will sort that out.  One of my extended relatives tried to come up with a name of her own, and not one of the kids knows her name as a result.  They just call her "that lady that comes to our house with X."   :lol: [/quote]

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