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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cannot believe that no one has read "Five Love Languages."  My mother did the same thing as OP's MIL, including getting a job at TJ Maxx to find "good deals" to send.  However, I am aware that one of the main love languages is gift-giving.  This is simply the primary way that some people show and receive love.  OP - your MIL got joy from planning the purchase, buying it and anticipating her grandchildren's reaction to the gifts.

[b]Instead of making the reaction all about you and your control issues, understand that this is her way of loving your children.[/b]  Something that she should have the right to do.  It is then up to you, after Christmas, to use or donate gifts as you see fit.  Will it potentially cause a conflict with your children?  Maybe, but that is part of parenting.  Give them the choice of what to keep and what to donate.

Gifts are about giving, and it is rude of you to try to control what she will gift.  You can suggest, but that is all. [b] Try to look at people as fundamentally good and try to understand them[/b].  Maybe your MIL wished that she could have such a toy when she was a child and never got one.  OR maybe she had a similar toy and remembers fondly how much fun it was and wants that for her grandchildren.

[/quote]

This is a wonderful post.  Of course it may be too mature for your audience but that is a different issue.[/quote]

While this is a good perspective, it still is not balanced.

The OP has been clear and respecting to her in laws. She is the one who has to deal with overcrowding her humble abode. Not to mention many other issues this MIL's behavior causes. It's good to sdvise the OP to empathize with the doting grandparents, but shouldn't the MIL has empathy toward the daughter in law as well?

Two way street![/quote]

Way to be intolerant, PP.

Just take the stuff and donate it.  This doesn't have to be so hard.  [b]Respect that the MIL is showing her love her way. [/b] Accept it, get rid of the stuff and move on.  The MIL then she probably is old enough that she isn't going to change the way she shows her love so why fight it?  I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's wrong.  I'm just saying that it isn't worth a fight.  She will be around for a limited amount of time and she means it in love.

I am just astounded by how many people (or maybe just the same person posting continuously) are personally offended by this act of love.  Why are you all so insecure?  What happened to you that makes you so adamant that it must be your way or the highway?  Why can't you all try just a little bit to be more tolerant?

I am not the first poster but I think she has a valid point. If you are a parent of young children then you should recognize that there are a bunch more bigger issues coming down the pike.  This is one to just let go.[/quote]

NP.  I get what you're saying, I do.  I've read the book, and my mom was this way.  The difference was, she wanted to show her love with gifts that were WANTED.  OP has told her MIL that they don't have room for things like this.  Why is it all about respecting who the MIL is, and ignoring the blatant disrespect the MIL is showing the DIL?  I agree that OP should just take the gifts and immediately donate, but then you think MIL is going to be happy when she finds that out?  OP will still be the bad guy because MIL wants things her way or no way.[/quote]

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