Reply to Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't imagine telling a co-worker "you look fit" - that seems too body-related.  I absolutely will comment to a male co-worker if I think he's lost weight; but I'd never comment at all on weight to a female co-worker.  If a female (or male) co-worker shows up with a new haircut ...

[pic here]

... then I'm absolutely going to compliment the new look (even if it's a bad haircut).

I don't see a problem with any of that.  Do you?[/quote]

DP, but[u] why only women?[/u]  Do you compliment men's haircuts?  People (and I use the term advisedly, women do this too) really don't realize how often they default to talking about appearance with women.  It's culturally ingrained.  Clothes, "have you lost weight?!", hair, even just "you look nice today"; it's constant.  Men don't get these comments so they think of it as a rare but appreciated compliment.  Women get it all the time and the cumulative effect is that it's just a way that society defaults us to not serious or decorative, while men are considered substantive and vital.[/quote]

Not "only women" by any means.  Read my post again.  I'm happy to compliment a male co-worker on his weight loss (but not a female co-worker).  To be blunt, my general rule is that female co-workers only exist above the neck.  I'll compliment their brains, their haircuts, their glasses.  But I'd never give any indication I'm aware that they exist below the neck.  By contrast, I'm willing to acknowledge and comment on a male co-worker's entire body - his weight loss, his tie, his shoes, etc.

I could be accused of differential treatment, but not in the way you're trying to suggest.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics