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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is interesting that you are reproving your MIL for being too rigid with her timing but yet you are doing the same thing, OP.  As a mother of 5, I certainly "get" the need for structure and routine, including bedtimes.  But I think you are missing two BIG opportunities here.

The first opportunity is to teach your son that family is important and sometimes that means compromising on your own schedule/routine.  This is especially significant when showing your child how to show respect for his/your elders.

The second and more important opportunity is how to teach your child some flexibility.  It is a great skill to have, to be flexible, and it is a hard skill to learn when children get older.  Like learning a primary language, this is one that is best taught young.  Children should learn how to adapt and how to self-soothe.  You can help your child learn that skill by exercising a little flexibility with this dinner schedule.  Perhaps you could put your child down for his afternoon nap a little later and tire him out a lot before so that he sleeps later, wakes later and is able to stay awake later.  Then after dinner at his grandmas, change him into his jammies so he can fall asleep in the car home.

One final thought, OP.  Your child has a limited amount of time with his grandparent, OP, do you really want to teach him that minor things in life like this are worthy of drawing lines in the sand?  It sounds like you are stomping your feet in your message to your MIL.  It sounds equally like she has a message for you.  Are you hearing it?  Remember that this is a woman who loves your husband and loves your son and who probably also loves you.  Be gracious.  She won't be here forever and when she is gone do you really want to look back on your behavior to reflect on how you "showed her" what's what?[/quote]

You sound like someone who is at least 15 years removed from having a 2 year old.  The kid is 2, not 8 or 9 or 12, in which case MAYBE the message above holds some water.  And you know what?  Some of us don't believe in reflexive respect for elders.  Some elders are utterly unworthy of that respect.  Some have some lessons of their own they need to learn.  Imagine that![/quote]

Actually our youngest just turned 7 so it has only been 5 years.  And I work with children in a therapeutic setting so I have a lot of familiarity with child development principles and the reality of a child's growth as well as family relationships.  Early childhood, at about 6 months so before the child can even walk in fact, is when parents should start to teach and train their young children with skills like flexibility and self-soothing.  To give you a relative behavior perspective, that is about the time when a child in your arms will use his or her eyes to follow an object like a ball that you drop from shoulder height.

I am not sure why you are so adamant about not respecting other people, including your elders.  You have (hopefully!) a long life ahead of you and a lot of the time it will involve interacting with people who are older than you.  Life is too short to be so sullen and surly and unhappy.  You might want to consider why you have the attitude you do and then consider ways to improve it so that life goes more smoothly and happily for you.  Research shows that people who hold grudges or have to get even are not as happy in the long run as people who are able to get over and up life's little hurdles, especially their interactions with other people and interpersonal relationships.  If you don't believe me then you should go to WaPo and read the article in last week's Health section about this very same subject.  It is an easy-to-read and timely reminder to us all that we choose our perspective and we choose our attitude.  Life offers a lot of choices and it is what we make of it.  Choose wisely for your own benefit if not for the benefit of others.  Good luck and best wishes for a happy Thanksgiving.[/quote]

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