Reply to old friend dropped bombshell - would love your insights

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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry that happened, OP. I don't know if you're still reading this thread, but I feel your pain.

My best friend and I had a falling out about 30 years ago over a very minor matter. I've tried repeatedly to reach out to her (this year I sent her a birthday card, no response from her), but she has rebuffed every attempt to reestablish a relationship, if not a friendship.

I mention this because there are some people who just LOVE to hold grudges! I read recently that grudges stimulate the PLEASURE center of the brain!! So, your friend gets something out of holding a grudge against you! Obviously that's her issue, and her problem. The problem with grudges is that they prevent your brain from feeling calm and peaceful, which is what forgiveness gives you. Friends who can't forgive will never find peace.

I can see how it would be upsetting, OP. She was smacking you around, blaming you for the childish grudge she's been carrying around for years, which is obviously part of a larger picture of (immaturity?) dysfunctional behavior on her part.

My former best friend's sister told me her sister (my former friend) is not the same person she was when we were growing up together. She was a great person then, but something changed. I've let go, but when I think of her, I feel sad. She was funny and fun and really helped me get through the tough times of my adolescence. I miss her and wish she'd let go of her stupid grudge over whatever it was (I can't even remember at this point!). But I'm not holding my breath! 30 years is a long time!

Let it go, OP. Forgive your friend for her immaturity and move on. [/quote]

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