Reply to How important is a woman's career to finding a mate?

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Reply to "How important is a woman's career to finding a mate?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Many men don't care what you do as long as you are contributing constructively to the household.  So a SAH mother who is caring for the children and home is constructive.  A SAH wife who is only working part-time especially if you are outsourcing some of the work such as housecleaning, yard service, paying for grocery delivery, etc is not constructive and is frustrating to a spouse.  I've known a few friend-couples who had this problem.  The husband made a good living and income, and the wife made no real effort to work or take care of the house, didn't pursue more training/college to be more qualified.  Those wives are now ex-wives. Conversely I've known couples who had similar situations where the wife took household management seriously, kept a well run home, meals provides, house clean, home stocked and did a combination of part time and volunteer work that kept them busy and constructive and are still married.  So, it really isn't the income or career that matters, but that the partner isn't just living easy and taking a free ride.
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I'd also add "and is realistic about the limitations of their choices."

So a SAHM who realizes a move to some wild place like Frederick is in order to support her desired lifestyle, yes. A WOHM who isn't constantly moaning about spending more time with the kids (beyond a certain low level which all people do, of course), yes. But a SAHM who spends like she's still working, is complaining about your longer hours; or a WOHM who's always complaining about daycare pickups? No.

I will also argue that a lot of guys who make megabucks are fine with their wives working but aren't the biggest fans of having to curtail *their* workstyles. For example, if DH is a law partner or other 60-hour a week job, it won't fly if he's gotta leave at 4pm to pick up the kids from daycare (exception of the wife being actually sick.) Now if a guy is working 60-hour workweeks but isn't bringing in the $$$ to hire help, then he's getting played by his job, things are really falling apart, or he's having an affair.

Guys are like that too. Some guys expect a WOHM $$$ with SAHM service, and that ain't happening. I had a neighbor who seemed that way once. [/quote]

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