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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Been married for six years (together for almost eight) with a four year old daughter.  Over the years my wife and I have grown apart, I can't deny that.  We've discussed our marriage and the issues we have, to the point where we discussed separating (discussed, not argued).  The bottom line is, and we both agree, that we are just different people now.  I'm more extrovert and she's become anti-social.  We don't have the same interests anymore (compared to when we were dating).  Everything has changed.  When we got married I became more serious and mature, she stayed the same.  Now, with a kid it's become a problem with our marriage.

She's a stay at home mom and our daughter is great.  Very smart, mature and highly social.  We send our daughter to pre-school/day care for six hours a day so she can socialize and it gives my wife time to herself for whatever (errands, shopping, cleaning the house, free time, etc).  Recently, I've discussed joining a country club because I want our daughter to take up tennis and create new friends. [b] I've been very fortunate to do well in my career.[/b]  When discussing joining the country club my wife says "I won't do anything there, it's just for you and our daughter".  For years I've tried to get my wife to become more social, to make some friends.  But, every chance she gets she doesn't.  I'm very frustrated [b]because I can't imagine not wanting to be part of a place where you can meet people[/b] and at the same time your kid can play sports and meet new friends (since she's an only child).

She's not opposed to joining, she's just doesn't want anything to do with socializing.  Her main hobby is shopping - literally.  She would rather stay at home on the internet/iPhone than go out and socialize with other moms or people.  I don't know what to do anymore, every turn she becomes more anti-social and I know down the line it's going to impact my daughter who is VERY outgoing.  If I had to bet I would say we will likely separate within the next two years.  We're in our 40s and we have discussed separating several times.  It's so hard coming home to a house where your spouse and you don't agree on almost anything.  We even disagree on how to raise our daughter!  That's the worse part.

I don't know why I'm posting here.  Perhaps I need to vent and parts of my life I don't care to vent to my friends.  Now, the question is do I join the country club and take my daughter to her classes myself and use the club myself?  Is it worth it considering my marriage not work?  Do I do it just for my daughter?  [/quote]

You just rub me the wrong way.   You can't imagine?

I don't mind meeting new people but I certainly don't go out of my way looking for new friends. You make it sounds as if it's something essential to survive.  My wife is similar, she doesn't mind most of the time, but if she has to spend hours mingling with new people, she gets uncomfortable and I certainly don't blame her for that.  My wife also doesn't like to interact too much with other Moms because there are often dramas over all kinds of little things, that's her personal experiences and I respect that.

You have a great career and you guys made the decisions together to have her stay at home, so what if she shops as a "hobby"? It's not like she's making expensive purchases multiple times a day all day every day, 365 days a year, at least not from what you described here.  Maybe she just enjoys cooking for you guys? The food you ate when you came home, she made it. The house you live in, she cleaned it. Your cloth, she washed them.  You really think she just sat there?

Sorry, for me you guys have other issues going on, the reasons listed are just silly.

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