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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Baby Now or Wait 2 Years? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to diagnose that OP does not want to get pregnant at all and is feeling immense pressure from DH. OP, someone asked you questions about your DH. Is he an involved guy? Will he be the default parent? (Though truth be told you have no way to know for sure until you see him in action.) Do you have plenty of money? With the way you are feeling, the above questions are critical and it's difficult to give advice without it. [/quote] Op here. I definitely want kids. I've always wanted to be a mother. I answered in another post that my DH is involved, but works 50 hours a week. We can afford outside care, but I worry about leaving a young baby with a babysitter. I start my program fall 2018, so I will have a very young baby if I get pregnant now. My other thought was to get pregnant at 34 while in my second year, and deliver baby around graduation time. That will leave me with 1-2 years to build up my new career before trying for a second baby. I am sorry if I come across as a know it all. I asked because I was hoping to get first hand accounts of personal situations where you guys had similar situations, and how it worked out. That's really my main question. If having a child while working and going to school is reasonable? I know the risks after 35, and was a little annoyed by the snarky " you should know because you're a nurse" comments. I am aware of the risks, but that's not my question. My question, to moms who have had children, is will it be easier to wait until after school to start a family. I am feeling pressured by my DH and family to have a baby now. [/quote] I have a 7yo and a 4 month old. I work 30h/week at my paying job and am in a MSW program that has a 20h/week internship component. Internship started when baby was 2 months old. I was on maternity leave from my other job for another month after that but at internship 2 days a week. MSW program is online, which is the only way that it works. It would be logistically easier for everyone if you were done with school when you had the baby. For you it would probably be physically easier if you were done with school before you got pregnant, particularly if you are working while in school. My situation has worked ONLY because my husband works a straight 40h/week office job where he is able to telework as needed. If he worked long hours (50+) or had to be on site all the time with a long commute, it would not work as I am currently working 5 10-hour days at 2 different jobs, one of them that is emotionally draining and pays nothing. I will also say that the difference for me between being pregnant at 28 and being pregnant at 35 was pretty severe. With my first baby, I was exhausted for the first trimester but otherwise felt like superwoman. With my second, I was nauseous for the first trimester and exhausted until she was born at almost 42 weeks. Do not underestimate your own capacity. What you are describing is not impossible, and if it is all necessary, you will figure it out, but speaking as someone who just went through a similar process, I do not recommend it if you can figure out literally any other way.[/quote] Op here. Thank you for your personal story. Yours sounds similar to mine if I were to have a baby now or in a couple of months. I think a good compromise is trying to get pregnant in my second year at 34 instead of after school at 35. [/quote]
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