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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most people won't have trouble having kids at 35-39.  Problem is you don't know if you're most people.

I'd do some testing with my OB.  They can tell you a decent amount through some simple bloodwork in terms of whether or not you're looking like an early fertility decliner.  No guarantees though in any case.[/quote]

Agree with this.

Also, if he's anxious to start sooner rather than later, is he willing to be the default parent while you're still in school?  Will you be able to afford lots of help?  Do you have family around who could help?  My sister is having her third right now while getting her MBA and working at a (more than) full time, very demanding job and her DH is out of town for work quite a bit.  She makes it work but depends incredibly heavily on my parents and her MIL to help her.  If she and her husband didn't have that help, she couldn't manage the MBA program or the job.   [/quote]

Op here. This is part of my concern. My DH doesn't travel, but he works 50 hour weeks. We live close to his parents, but I don't want to treat my MIL as my personal babysitter. She raised her own children, and is not fair I make her raise mine. DH will be present, but with his hours, I doubt he will be Rhee as mic has he plans to be there. We can afford the help, but I'm worried about leaving a newborn in the hands of a babysitter. I can take maternity leave with my current job, but I will still be a full-time student. I wouldn't mind having a child now, but I don't feel I have enough of a support system. [/quote]

You guys are nowhere near ready to have a baby. I don't think you're even ready to TTC. You need to get on the same page about life priorities. Some things to think about:

What kind of job will you be seeking after you finish school? I don't know what CNRA hours are like. Is it shift work? Do you work days or nights? Do you work 3 12s or 4 10s or banker's hours?

When you have children, what kind of maternity leave do you want to take? 6-8 weeks at least is standard for medical reasons, 12 weeks is covered by FMLA at qualified employers. What kind of paternity leave will your DH take? Will he be the kind of dad who takes a couple days off and then is happy to go back to work or will he stay home with you and the baby for a month? What kind of parenting division of labor do you want? Assuming that the "Breastfeeding nursing moms" thread is also you, it sounds like you are prioritizing a parenting style that involves a super-baby who falls asleep on their own, never whines, and requires very little of you. Where is your husband in all of that? Will he take the baby to the doctor? Will he cover sick days? Will he do pick up and drop off at whatever childcare y'all agree on? And what about childcare? Will you find daycare? If so, your work hours are pretty important. I know of very few daycares that were able to accommodate my RN best friend's schedule and her husband wasn't reliably able to do either end, so they had to get a nanny. You mention local family. What is your current relationship with them and to what extent do they want to be involved in your childcare plans?

I would strongly advise that you and your husband sit down and come up with some very specific answers to these questions before you pull the goalie.[/quote]

Wow, thank you! These are amazing questions! To answer some that I know.

I will be a CRNA after school. I am not sure what hours I will have. I currently work 4 10 hour shifts, but CRNA will be different. I may have to work weekends or work crazy hours. I can't predict my schedule.

I would like to take 12 weeks. My DH can take up to 12 weeks, but will likely take 4-6 weeks. We plan to hire a nanny at some point. I have an amazing relationship with my in-laws, and while they are willing to help, I do not want to take advantage of their generosity.

- That breastfeeding thread isn't me. I am not pregnant or a CRNA yet. We have a general idea of how we would like to raise our children, but we don't have anything set in stone. I think it wildly depends on the child's personality. I also do not have any idea whether I will be breastfeed or formula feed. I don't have a strong opinion either way.

- I hoped there will be shared responsibility, but both of us will be for doctors appointments.

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