Reply to old friend dropped bombshell - would love your insights

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Although this would shock me, I would try to frame it less personally. It may be that the friend and your DH were not compatible and that can make it an uncomfortable friendship at least from her perspective. The incident itself may have been the excuse she needed and so she gave it more importance than it warranted. That’s why it’s so strange to you, you are viewing it singularly.

She sounds like she handles things internally and is not good at direct communication. She may not have been able to get through the awkwardness of contacting you for those major events with this perceived stumbling block.

This meeting may have been her attempt at clearing the air now that she is older and wiser but not much better at communicating. You shouldn’t feel crappy about it – I get the impression that despite the shock you handled it gracefully. 
[/quote]

Good framing and insights - thanks for sharing them.  When I discussed with DH (he apologized and said he felt bad about whatever role he played), he pointed out that she seems to be very sensitive about my conduct yet lacking much introspection on her own behavior.  He said a lot of his feelings about her over the years had been shaped by how he felt she was always treated herself as a little superior to me as well as being fairly selfish.  Perhaps what has bothered me here is that I think I've been kind of "warts and all" with her - I've known about the superiority and selfishness, but decided to overlook because I enjoyed other aspects of her company.  Guessing not a two-way street for her.[/quote]

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