Reply to If you respect and admire your husband I envy you

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[quote=Anonymous]Keep in mind that the qualities that drive someone to have a successful, respectable career are also qualities that can make them lousy in a relationship. My DH is like this- he has a highly respected career and is one of the top in his field. When he visits other offices within the organization, people excitedly whisper to each other "that's <DH's name>!" to each other. But the things that made him great- meticulousness, holding people to extremely high standards, anxiety, the drive to get a million things done each day- are exhausting at home. If he comes home and something isn't done- like there's a couple dishes in the sink- I'm grilled on how I spent my day and told I need to be more productive. He dictates how I should do things, even things he knows nothing about, such as my own job. Sometimes his anxiety takes over and he becomes unbearable to be around, or will wake me up in the middle of the night to yell at me- not that I did anything wrong, he just needs to get the anxiety out somehow. He's also constantly frustrated that I am not at the same level in my career as he is, and that my career isn't as prestigious as his.

Sure, things were fun at first. For awhile, it's a lot of fun being with the most respected guy in the room. Also leads to a lot of really hot sex in the beginning. But our marriage is so damaged that neither of us is really interested or attracted to the other. I look back regretfully on the times I passed over really great guys because they had a mediocre job. [/quote]

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