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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In defense of the mother, a lot of young women who want to have children seem a bit too focused on having the perfect home or establishing a career first. The result is many late, high-risk pregnancies, multiple births after expensive IVFs, etc. Every mother of an adult woman has witnessed the heartbreak of other women who've ended up with no children or severely disabled children. Some of their urgings may be motivated by these concerns.[/quote]

As a woman who had suffered from infertility, multiple invasive procedures, multi-cycle treatments and finally IVF, and whose life was made worse by her mother's meddling, I have to say you're totally off base. The mother has no business getting involved in what the daughter decides regarding her own reproductive choices. This is a major boundary crossing and you're justifying it with really flimsy excuses.  [/quote]

You are both right! The mothers of these women should not be "meddling". But giving exact scientific information on a women's peak fertility is necessary sometimes, because that's not given in school. And then it's the women's decision, and their mothers should step aside.
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Giving your daughter scientific evidence is not what this thread is about. This thread is about a mother who whines every time she talks to OP about having grandchildren.

And I would argue that it's not the mother's role to be "giving exact scientific information on a women's peak fertility" if she was never there to give sex education during the daughter's teen years. Yes most moms would fall into this category. Couldn't talk about sex so it's all on the daughter to figure it out. All of a sudden they can't trust the daughter to find information on fertility?  Seriously?

To all the mothers who're even contemplating talking to their daughters about the perils of waiting too long: she knows. She's married and having kids is a decision strictly between she and her husband. They may have all sorts of reasons for not having a baby now. If they share those reasons with you it's not your place to pick apart their reasons. Have some basic curtsey and respect their right to make their own decisions as adults. If they don't talk about it with you then please respect that too. They may be suffering from some medical, marital, or financial issues that preclude them from having a baby now. It's not your place to pry or act as if you know best. You really don't.

My mom tried to talk to me about fertility and her information was at least 20 years out of date. It was made worse by the fact that I was in the midst of IF treatment and kept it private b/c it's intensely personal and painful.  [/quote]

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