Reply to When the school tells you your kid is at risk for suicide

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I had the same experience only with my son. New school, call from the guidance counselor, denied that he would kill himself or had a plan and then he tried. I spent a year not knowing if he would be alive when I got home. I had to check the house before I got the other kids out of the car. May have been the worst year ever. Counselor didn't help because he wouldn't talk. Things got better after I made major changes in his life - different school program, lots of structure, volunteer work instead of being home, etc. Good luck.

Also I am a social worker who worked with families of kids who committed suicide. Things I can tell you are these. No one can imagine their child trying to kill themselves and they never see it coming. It's always a shock. And suicide doesn't happen when things are the worst. It happens when things are on the upswing g. At that point people have the energy to plan and they can't fathom ever going back to the dark place they came from.

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I wouldnt have left that kid home alone.[/quote]

Well then you are luckier to have more resources than I had at that time. It's easy to criticize and judge when you are not walking in those shoes. But I'm not sure who would have paid for that home that I left him alone in if I hadn't gone to work because my paycheck was the only money coming into the house. [/quote]

If he did the unthinkable, you would have regretted that job.
I didn't leave my son alone for a year when I was worried about the same thing.[/quote]

Here's the thing. I was a single parent of three (and not the type of single parent who had another parent taking the kids part time or providing support - it was 100% me with no family in the area). Week 1 and 2 and maybe even up to 5, friends will pitch in. But then you're on your own. And this lasted more than a year.

Having worked with families whose children committed suicide, I knew of so many families who were right there when their kids killed themselves. One happened after a therapy session - walked to the front of the car in the parking garage and jumped as his mother watched. Another laid in bed until his parents were asleep and then climbed onto the roof and shot himself with a gun he got from a kid at school. Another went to the bathroom and downed a bottle of Tylenol while her parents were in the next room. I did this for a long time and could keep going. But the point is that as parents in this awful situation, we do the best we can and even always being there doesn't prevent it. I am really happy for you that you got through your child's crisis successfully and that you had the luxury of doing what gave you peace of mind while you were going through it. But it was a luxury and it is not ok to judge those of us who have a different reality. [/quote]

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