Reply to Custody schedule 2-2-5 versus one week on/one week off (with midweek overnight)

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Reply to "Custody schedule 2-2-5 versus one week on/one week off (with midweek overnight)"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think that is too much transition time.  Having it stable as possible during the school week is critical.  We do kids w me during the week for the most part, then every other weekend, it's Th night-Monday morning at their dad's.  Every week there is a school pick-up and dinner w him too.  Holidays are traditional:  one year, he gets the week of Thanksgiving, I get before Christmas holiday and Christmas Day, then they go to him for rest of holiday, etc.  And then the following year we switch.  We each have homes and they have rooms in each house with their things, etc.  It's still not perfect--they love the time with each of us, but the transitions can still be hard because we have different styles (I'm stricter, more scheduled, and I'm the one who does the stuff like doctors, etc; he is more about fun).

I grew up with an every other weekend schedule with my dad but I did not have anything personal in my dad's house (like a poster on the wall or clothes there), so my childhood was very, very different.  I DID feel like a visitor.  But my kids have enough of their own things both places that each house is a home.

Do what is going to provide the best, most stability for your children, the fewest transitions possible, and what makes sense for your relationship with ex.  Think ahead and try to remember that a custody agreement is the rock-bottom back-up of what custody will be if all goes to hell but that custody in practice should be more fluid (i.e. be willing to make changes for the sake of the kids if something is not working or to accommodate a work trip or something like that.)  We had two custody agreements (the second was a battle that went on for a year and resulted in the current agreement).  I wish I had more time with them (the Th night and Sun night were the additions for him after the custody fight), but it's fairly okay.

The kids were not part of the negotiations ever and have never, ever known that we have fought or disagreed on anything related to them.  That was a critical point for me, and remains so to this day when we disagree.  I can't stand him, but I sit next to him at school things, remind them to call him, remind him of important events and conferneces to make sure he is there, share everything with him that comes from school or coaches (of course), and generally make co-parenting a priority.  My personal feelings towards him do not figure into it as it is all to present a unified front for them and for their best and highest good.

We've been divorced for 6 years, with this current agreement in place for 3 years.  Kids are 9 and 11.  It's not perfect, but it's the best we can do.[/quote]

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